top 5 things to shout at a pens game!
1) “SUPER DUPER BEAMS ARE GONNA BLIND ME SO I WON’T FEEL BLUE, LIKE I ALWAYS DO, ‘CAUSE SOMEWHERE IN THE CROWD THERE’S YOUUUUUUUU!” (note: the difficulty of shouting this may require you to sing the entirety of ABBA’s “super trooper” while wearing fabulous outfits and generally disrupting the game)
2) “THESE BEESTUNG LIPS MADE THE GIRLS CRAZY FROM HALIFAX TO HERSHEY!!!!!”
3) “FOUR FOR YOU, HARVARD GRADUATE CRAIG ADAMS! YOU GO, HARVARD GRADUATE CRAIG ADAMS!”
4) “THE NEXT MOTHERFUCKER WHO BRINGS UP FLOWER IN LAST YEAR’S PLAYOFFS IS GONNA MEET MY TWO BEST FRIENDS, MARC AND ANDRE, WHO ARE GONNA GIVE YOU A KNUCKLE SANDWICH. MARC AND ANDRE ARE MY FISTS AND THE KNUCKLE SANDWICH IS REALLY JUST A PUNCH IN THE MOUTH.” (note: this also may be hard to shout; consider perhaps making a sign?)
5) “GEEEEENOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!” (note: this is usually accompanied by either clawing at your own face from joy OR with the follow up: “THAT WAS A STUPID FUCKING PENALTY STOP THROWING TANTRUMS YOU ARE A GROWN MAN.”)